In the end, we held hands and walked through the alleyway shimmering with starlight, and in the restaurant at the end, we finished eating two moons.
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Words and Phrases:
Approach the boundary with caution, sacrifice pieces to seize the initiative, do not be greedy for victory.
Clear sky after sudden snow, beautiful thoughts and peaceful well-being.
Full stop.

Cynical.
Heroism.
National pride.
Question mark?
Dream.
Gentleness.
Spotless.

Sentences:
I really wanted you to love me.
Floating on the vast sea, standing tall like the Kunlun Mountains.
But not every dark place needs light.
What is fair is that when it is pitch black, no one will shine.
Misunderstandings in my life usually come half from poor expression and half from the inconsistency between knowledge and action.
Suddenly, I want to date a girl who studies civil engineering; they can mix concrete by themselves—that's cool.
Rather than saying I am a responsible person, it is more accurate to say I am someone kidnapped by responsibility. I fear responsibility, yet I have no choice but to bear it.
In the end, we held hands and walked through the alleyway shimmering with starlight, and in the restaurant at the end, we finished eating two moons.

1597257469779
Outside the window, the wind and rain are tinkling; the mountains and plains are all filled with today.
The meaning of youth is growth.
Love died, rusted, within your romance.
One should not be angry at the hypocrisy of others, because one is also a person who says one thing and means another.
We see the traits we like in others, which is precisely a manifestation of narcissism.
夢はいつも空高くあるから , 届かなくて怖いね。(Dreams always seem to be high in the sky, and it's scary that they are unreachable.)
Time has taught me not to lose hope, but also not to trust in hope too much.
Having to realize that everything has an end is truly a cruel thing.
On his seventeenth birthday, he quietly told me he wanted to become a man like me.
Don't just follow the crowd, and don't be afraid of being called a follower. You cannot be someone who loses their intelligence just by being in a crowd.
Books are for cultivating one's character and carrying the truth.
Perhaps love is just a parasite that feeds on dependency.
Clever words and an ingratiating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue.
There will always be people settling for a mediocre love.
The meaning of life is to give meaning to life.
It is truly possible to live a whole life in mediocrity.
There has always been someone in my heart who, with all his might, just doesn't want to become anyone.
Paragraphs:
I.
Memory is a strange thing,
Returning to my old high school for some reason,
I found it wasn't as good as in my memories,
Nor was it as bad as in my memories.
Because it was a cloudy day,
Everything was dry and lacked texture,
That road I remembered as very interesting only had a few scattered shops,
But the stairs I remembered as very hard to climb were finished in an instant.
The stone steps I remembered as being full of history were actually lined with shabby cement slabs on both sides,
And the security guard I remembered as having a bad temper was actually very easy to talk to.
Sitting on a stone bench I had never sat on before, typing,
Thinking about these things,
I realized that the past might not be so likable,
Nor so hateful.
II.
III.
IV.
"What a strange and foolish person, telling all their weaknesses to someone and expecting them not to hurt them."
"People call this foolishness love."
"So love is foolish, is there a problem? Only foolish people want to fall in love; there will be no love between smart people."
"Then what about foolish people and smart people?"
"That is the betrayal you see everywhere, people crying on the street asking why it turned out like this, they are just plain stupid."
V.
Then, is changing time meaningless?
VI.
Young people lack resilience in life, experts say. Forty years ago, they were hungry and cold, and a happy life was built entirely by their own hands. They studied hard to become scientists, those with quick minds went into business, and even the most down-and-out young people tried to shine in insignificant positions. Life is not just the drudgery before us, but also poetry and distant places.
That was a vast wilderness full of mineral deposits yet to be cultivated. But now it has become a light-tight metal jungle. The word "involution" has been very popular recently; the mountain is only so high, and there are too many people at the top, so those at the bottom can't climb up. But they still have to climb, otherwise, they will be squeezed down.
There are people at the top of the mountain trying to make the mountain higher, and people building fences. Compared to the great achievements they are making, the pressure on young people is not worth mentioning.
VII.
So, Mama Haruko, paying attention to a child's mental health is just as important as their physical health. A-Chen said solemnly, though the flickering in his eyes showed his pretense was not perfect.
Haruko couldn't help but laugh out loud when she saw A-Chen like this, "Yes, yes, yes, Papa Chen is as serious as ever about child education."
VIII.
From the beginning, I felt we would be very suitable for each other.
At that time, she was often in a low mood, yet she was working very hard on what she was doing.
To get close to her, I also pretended to be in a low mood and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk together.
So she talked to me about her current situation and feelings, considering so many things.
She asked me if there was a good way to make everyone feel better,
After saying that, she said herself that she knew there probably wasn't.
So that she wouldn't be the only one talking, I also chatted with her about why I was feeling low.
I couldn't say it was because I wanted to accompany her out for a walk, so I talked about people and things I had encountered before.
I felt that if other people's pasts were written down as stories, my past would be written down as a joke, so I deliberately made it humorous.
When I told others, they would just laugh it off, but this time she listened and seriously told me it wasn't my fault.
I was quite moved, but instead felt sorry for her that I had done so much artistic embellishment.
I felt she was super childish and super mature.
It felt like a piece was missing from a puzzle.
I said, actually, there are still so many people I haven't met, things I haven't experienced, and places I haven't seen. You can't see through the world so early.
That day, we talked for a long, long time downstairs at her place.
It was drizzling, so I closed her umbrella and pulled her under mine.
I said I liked the sound of raindrops hitting the umbrella.
She said it was because white noise makes people feel at ease.
What an overly rational person.
IX.
A young couple on the train. Neither of them looked good. She held him, smiling, acting like a spoiled child, teasing him. And he, with dull eyes, felt embarrassed to be loved in public by a woman he was not proud of.
X.
At the moment I said I loved her, I didn't actually feel the kind of love I was expressing very deeply. I was just desperately longing to hear her answer. Or perhaps, I just wanted to say the words out loud. Sometimes, we exaggerate. Sometimes, we say things that aren't so true, secretly hoping that once said, they will come true.
Miscellaneous:
I knew when I was fourteen that love is a muggle thing.
After hearing this, Haruko seemed to be choked by the honey water she had just drunk, coughing non-stop.
"You're really precocious."
She reached out to me, and I handed her a tissue. I took the opportunity to recall my fourteen-year-old self.
"Actually, it doesn't count as precocious. I was only in the second year of middle school then, and I couldn't understand why my deskmate would lose his appetite for a girl who didn't look good. He explained his lack of understanding by saying that I hadn't met the right person. He said the right person is someone who shines; she will attract your gaze and attract you to approach."
Haruko nodded gently, "It seems the precocious one was your deskmate."
"Regrettably, I haven't met the person who can give me light even now. At that time, I told him that I was my own light."
"That really fits your chuunibyou temperament."
"Please be precise in your wording, it was my former chuunibyou. Actually, it's not that I don't like girls; we would occasionally play around during breaks, telling little jokes we saw in magazines to make them happy, which is now one of my happy memories."
"Because you were a teenage boy."
"In the process of growing up, do you ever have the illusion that the people around you are all stupid?"
"Often, especially the boys around me."
"I find it very annoying when people tell me that's because I haven't met the right person."
"The fourteen-year-old you or the current you?"
"The current me, I guess. But when I'm woken up in the middle of the night by someone telling me she thinks she'll never have the right person in her life, I tell her she definitely will, and that she has to wait. If you don't believe it yourself, although you can comfort others, you can't comfort yourself."
"A-Chen is really popular with girls."
"I think the trouble with feelings isn't that you can't meet the right person, but that you met that person and then missed them. So in the days that follow, you're like being trapped in the cage she left behind. You know that the person you finally wait for isn't the right person, just Mr. Settled-For. And those behaviors of loving Mr. Settled-For as the right person are, in my opinion, muggle behavior."
"Most are muggles."
"Damn, you're not listening to me at all, are you? You're basically just summarizing my words."
Haruko showed an innocent expression.
"How could I? I was listening very carefully. But you change topics so fast, how could I have time to think carefully about every sentence? I'm a drunk person now! My head is light, and I feel everything you say is very reasonable. Just the feeling of your words drilling into my brain and then drilling out is already very happy."
I looked at her fuddled way of reasoning and couldn't help but laugh.
"Saying so much, in short, it's just in one ear and out the other. It's just a class reunion, why drink so much? Didn't you say you don't drink?"
She held the glass up in front of her eyes, facing outside the window. "It looks really beautiful when you squint. The truly right person will shine even in the night. It's dark all around, you're walking alone, and suddenly you see a ray of light. Such light is even worth a moth flying into the fire. If I thought about every sentence, I would only have heard up to here."
After saying that, she laughed.
End
Thanks to the habit of jotting things down, I can always dig out a big basket of thoughts every time.
When I was preparing to write "He Ru Shi" in the middle of the year, the outline planned for 100,000 words, but in the end, it was just empty thinking in my mind. In the end, it seemed that I also felt the story wasn't very attractive, so I finished it hastily.
Actually, I'm still not clear whether the story was really boring, or if I lacked passion and ability.